Success As a Woman in a Male-Dominated Industry: My Evolution from a Survival Mindset to Strength in Numbers
Last year, I had a professional awakening. I realized that as a woman in a male-dominated industry, I have to do more than just be successful. I need to be an advocate for other women and doing so has created a positive transformation in my life and others. Women empowerment is not only about achieving our own goals; it’s also about working together to create a society in which all women have the opportunity to succeed.
In reflecting on how I used to feel about being a woman in a male-dominated industry I recall the thoughts I had as a small percentage of women entering West Point: “there aren’t many spots available for us” or “we’re competing against others because there isn’t enough room” or “I need to just blend in.” So often we’re pitted against each other because “there’s not enough room at the top.” I now realize these thoughts were all wrong because while I was successful, there were others that were struggling around me I could have helped. The higher the numbers of women who are successful brings more meaningful change and encourages other women to follow rather than just a few of us making it through.
Women have always been strong, but now it’s time for us to be unapologetically powerful. For me, it all started with a list. I’m in commercial real estate which is comprised of mostly white middle-aged men. For international women’s day last year, I decided to create a list of influential women in my industry. As I did some research I noticed existing lists highlighting women were mainly regionally based and not very diverse. Plus, I could not find any lists that combined women from the transactional and technology sides of my industry. These two sides of our industry are pretty segregated and, in my opinion, this is why innovation and adoption of new solutions are extremely challenging. So long story short I researched and developed a list of 25 impressive women who 1) from both the technology and transactional sides of our industry; 2) influential leaders committed to women activism or community; and 3) half were women of color or part of minority groups (LGBTQ+). We published our list on international women’s day and were overwhelmed by the support from the industry.
I had no idea the degree of impact that list would make on my personal life. I hosted an online meetup inviting all 25 women to meet virtually. I assumed it would just be one meet and greet and then everyone would go their separate ways. The vulnerability, respect, and empowerment on that first call were powerful and I remember feeling almost blissful and seen afterward. It was enough to make me want to coordinate a quarterly virtual meetup which ended up increasing to us meeting monthly. I realize I was not the only one that felt that special energy after we would finish our calls (which almost always go over the allotted hour) — each of us described it as ‘magical’ so we properly named our meetups “Monthly Magic Hour” and we felt it whether there were ten women on the call or just three of us.
What’s super special about our group that meets regularly is the degree of execution and assistance we provide for one another. How do we do it? At the beginning of every meeting, each woman presents an ask of the group. I decided to structure this into our meetings because as women we are generally reluctant to ask for help. So when we have our meetings, our asks must be actionable. It turns out when you have a group of women who bring actionable asks but also want to genuinely see others succeed, the sky is the limit. We have done deals together, supported in sponsorship dollars for other women events, put each other to present on some of the biggest stages in the industry.
A few months into our meetings, I woke up one day feeling different. I felt more confident and more supported. This was a feeling I had not felt in a very long time and I realize I did have a great support system earlier in my career. When I reflected back on my days at West Point and in the military I realized I had my core group of women friends from the beginning. We helped each other survive to graduate West Point with tips on which classes to take, which guys to avoid, and how to wear our uniforms (designed for men). Even after 25+ years, we are still family to one another. I didn’t realize how special having a woman tribe was until I left the military and felt isolated in another male-dominated environment where women were more segregated. I didn’t have a tribe until I met the women on the list I started.
Eventually, women in the industry were starting to reach out to me for advice. They started reaching out about my experience being a woman in male-dominated industries, and what I thought of their ideas on how they wanted to bring change. There was also an increase in women messaging me feeling like giving up because it felt too hard being a woman in this male-dominated industry.
I am proud to say that these women who reached out have found success after our talks when they may not have otherwise given themselves another chance had they not reached out. Women are so brilliant and multi-talented; but especially in industries where there are so few of us, they need the support of other women reminding them that everything is possible with confidence, perseverance, and a willingness to ask for what we need. Women are trained from early on to not take up space; that is why women don’t apply for jobs unless they meet 100% of the qualifications while men will apply with 60–70%. Women also earn less than their male counterparts even if it’s the same job.
We have come so far but yet still have so much further when you look at these statistics:
- In 2021, only 2.3% of venture capital money went to women-led businesses.
- Women makeup 51% of the population but only hold 26% of all seats in Congress
- Only 21 CEOs leading Fortune 500 companies are women
- Women make 81 cents to every dollar that a man makes even if they have similar educational backgrounds and experience levels performing the same duties as men do.
This list can go on. These numbers will only improve if we are dedicated to raising each other up. It’s also extremely important to have men as allies raise us up as well. I’m very lucky to have two extraordinary male co-founders who embody the qualities of supportive male allies and believe diversity makes teams stronger. So, if you are a woman feeling alone in your industry please reach out — I’m here for you.
