I recently spoke at the University of Texas Kendra Scott Institute for Women Entrepreneurs about the topic of leading in male-dominated industries. Since this event was exclusive to students/alumni/staff at the university, I decided I want to share some of my talking points with those who were unable to attend.

Develop Your Pitch To Impress

Now, believe it or not despite my accomplishments as seen to the rest of the world I have been plagued and struggled with imposter syndrome my whole life. Not only that but I was raised by parents who stressed the importance of being humble about accomplishments — let people know and respect you for what’s in front of them. I used to not let people know that I graduated from West Point or led over 80 Soldiers in a combat zone. “I want them to respect me for me before they learn about my accomplishments” is what I used to think. However, in a world where men can be quick to underestimate or bring on unconscious bias to women in their industry, it is essential to develop an introduction for yourself that breaks down those assumptions upfront. I personally have a long and short version depending on the situation or person I am speaking with and I now coach other women on improving their self-pitches. In our society, most women are not comfortable talking about themselves, let alone their accomplishments. I used to not be able to even write about myself and even hired someone to craft a bio about me. I couldn’t even put pen to paper about these FACTS about myself. However, I realized how important this is, especially in the industry I work in so I had to evolve to overcome this humility to communicate that I’m a badass in a minute or less(with the encouragement of my wonderful male co-founders!). I am proud to say I’ve progressed to FINALLY owning my accomplishments and last month wrote the following below about myself in only five minutes.

“Over the past 20 years, Marissa Limsiaco has broken barriers as part of a small percentage of women who graduated from West Point, led soldiers in combat, and today leads a company revolutionizing the commercial real estate industry. She is the recipient of West Point’s prestigious Army Athletic Association Trophy, a decorated combat Veteran, and named one of the most influential women in commercial real estate. In an environment where only 2.2% of venture capital goes to women, Marissa has raised millions for her company.”

The last thing I will add on this topic is that the pivotal moment for me to be able to own my accomplishments is actually believing it myself. We don’t realize how many negative voices we have that play in our heads at times. It takes time and deliberate effort but eventually you can re-record those voices and rewire your mindset completely.

Be Yourself

As I look at the leaders I respected most two traits are ones they all share: 1) they are authentic and 2) self-aware. At West Point, the women who tried to emulate a more masculine approach from their male peers were not respected as much as those that were just themselves. I observed some of these women were like two completely different people between leader and peer roles. I always saw this style backfire and will happen whenever you try to emulate someone else’s style that is not your own — man or woman. The best leaders are those who are most self-aware and genuinely know themselves. Your subordinates know when you are imitating or presenting your authentic self — they smell insecurity from miles away, and when they do, it’s more difficult to intrinsically inspire them to follow you. At the end of the day, leadership is figuring out how to motivate people to do stuff in YOUR own way.

Don’t Complain

I learned this lesson early on when I was at West Point. The Academy evaluated us on academics, military, and physical grades. The military grade was based on our performance in our company ranks during the school year as well as our summer training. Our second summer was spent in field training and there are only limited A’s that are awarded within each platoon. That summer I received the A and was a bit surprised because I did not perform the best at tasks such as land navigation, shooting, etc compared to my peers. When I asked my squad leader why I received the A he said that even though I wasn’t the best at all tasks, I never complained and always just executed whatever task was ordered despite being in really crappy situations as opposed to my peers (mostly men) who always had to gripe about something. It highly impacts morale and my optimism and motivation stood out to him. “The best followers can become the best leaders and I see that in you,” he explained. So ladies, keep that in mind. You stick out in a group of men when you aren’t the one complaining all the time. It can go a long way for you.

Find Your Woman Tribe

I never realized how important a woman tribe is until the last few years. When I look back at my West Point and military years, having women around me and women to look up to make all the difference. The saying is true, “When you see it, you can be it.” I was lucky to have my woman tribe from peers to mentors who wanted me to succeed. However, when I left the military and entered the entrepreneur world it was a huge struggle for me because I didn’t see any other women who walked in my shoes. I knew there were few out there but I didn’t know or have any connections to any of them. This led me to through some crippling imposter syndrome and my confidence was at an all-time low. It was almost as if I canceled or forgot about my own previous accomplishments — a woman who dominated in a world of men and led Soldiers in combat and graduated from West Point. I will go way deeper into this experience in another blog post, but long story short I finally found my woman tribe in the last two years. I’ll tell you that finding these women has been a game-changer for me, especially in the last year. They have helped me find my confidence and it feels stronger than ever before…we feel like we can conquer the world together. A win for one of us is a win for all — they are family to me now. So if you don’t have one, go out there and be deliberate about finding your tribe even if it only takes one woman at a time.